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some people are just bad

by first pet

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1.
sleep sleeping without you yeah it made me sad yeah it makes me sad be being without you yeah it made me sad yeah it makes me sad, sometimes i wonder where I will go sometimes i want to hit the road straight with my skull and I I don't really know how long it's going to take for me to get back to where I once thought I was going hate but how do i hate without you? yeah you made me sad yeah you make me sad
2.
we go out to dinner and sit down at the table there's two of us but my feet touch the ground and i know i'm alone waiting for death while the guilt burns a pit in my stomach i say "fuck it" between bites "i've been cheating on you" i say "sorry" you say "what" and in that moment i learn never to trust my gut i black out the next part we end up in the park sitting by the water while my life falls apart as expected but i said it and now i know you're leaving three years later i drink coffee at home i'm not nearly as stupid and no longer alone but i still sit and think on it about just how low i know i can go because now i know, because i ate i am the knife that cuts the cake because even now i am afraid that the hunger will betray me again that i won't win
3.
you hide in your house in the center of town and at the edge of your mouth a smirk raises and routes the way we talk to each other the way you won’t talk to me about the things that do bother the subtle violence i see there’s a way to be open and there’s a way to be closed and as a man you’re in the middle but no one wants to expose the way you hide in your house in the center of town and at the edge of your mouth a snake comes slithering out at me and the girls at the parties they already know your name the subtle violence you inflict and all the lives you've inflamed cause there’s a way to be open and there’s a way to be closed and as a man you’re in the middle perfectly predisposed to never care to listen never care to ask the women in your life are tired working to keep you on track while you hide in your house in the center of town and at the edge of your mouth a smirk raises and routes the way you talk to your mother the way you won’t talk to me about the things that do bother the injustice i see cause there’s a way to be open and there’s a way to be closed and as a boy you don’t do either as a boy you’d never know that all the girls at the parties they already know your name the subtle violence you inflict all the lives you inflame yet you never care to listen never care to ask the girls that are working to keep your life on track while you hide in your house in the center of town cause at the edge of your mouth indifference raises and routes the way you are
4.
bag of beans 00:53
i hate when i'm mean which is all the time i am a bad person sort of half the time i don't like it i hate myself how do i be nice always all the time how do i do nothing sort of half the time i want to be a bag of beans that's never mean or says bad things or breathes
5.
6.
alive 01:35
i tried to kill myself last night except it wasn’t really much of a try called the hotline, called my friends cried on the kitchen floor again but i’m alright I woke up today stuck in a fog didn’t know if I was fine or just in shock blank screen blared all my frayed ends with no one to comfort, nothing to defend i’m sorta alright six cups of coffee and i’m still stuck in space don’t wanna stay here but can’t really get away tonights a party half past ten maybe i’ll find the floor again drunk alright but i’m alright i’m sorta alright as long as i am sort of alive
7.
girl tsunami 02:30
if everything you ever wanted once came before you like a strong tsunami a big ocean of blood would you accept the waking force of want or starstruck, run like wildlife to the hills you don't need it, you can't take anymore well I guess that's what growing up is for well I guess you're the deer that walked out the door while I rip down one million things while I flood every town that I'm close to with the wreckage I am gesturing en mass I am calling out to you but you are cozy on the hill and as a tidal wave, I should know better that even love can never hold me still come sundown I always wonder why I bother I need an ocean to hold me

about

lo-fi recordings done in 1-2 takes about how some people are just bad, or are they, or what is bad, or is "just bad" something you can't change, or how trauma and mistakes impact people in future relationships including their relationship with themselves

credits

released July 11, 2017

big thanks to me, my tears, my depression, my night-terrors, my many heartbreaks, my emotions, and lastly, my beautiful, bEAUTIFUL bed

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about

first pet Ithaca, New York

consistently oscillating between a band and a quiet bedroom-folk project
firstpetband@gmail.com

send luv xo

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