some people are just bad

by first pet

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about

lo-fi recordings done in 1-2 takes about how some people are just bad, or are they, or what is bad, or is "just bad" something you can't change, or how trauma and mistakes impact people in future relationships including their relationship with themselves

credits

released July 11, 2017

big thanks to me, my tears, my depression, my night-terrors, my many heartbreaks, my emotions, and lastly, my beautiful, bEAUTIFUL bed

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about

first pet Ithaca, New York

if you're lucky you had one, if you had one you lost it
firstpetband@gmail.com

send luv xo

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Track Name: sleeping without you
sleep
sleeping without you
yeah it made me sad
yeah it makes me sad

be
being without you
yeah it made me sad
yeah it makes me sad, sometimes

i wonder where I will go
sometimes
i want to hit the road straight with my skull

and I
I don't really know how long it's going to take for me
to get back to where I once thought I was going

hate
but how do i hate without you?
yeah you made me sad
yeah you make me sad
Track Name: the knife that cuts the cake
we go out to dinner and sit down at the table
there's two of us but my feet touch the ground
and i know i'm alone
waiting for death while the guilt burns a pit in my stomach

i say "fuck it"
between bites "i've been cheating on you"
i say "sorry" you say "what"
and in that moment i learn never to trust my gut

i black out the next part we end up in the park
sitting by the water while my life falls apart as expected
but i said it and now i know you're leaving

three years later i drink coffee at home
i'm not nearly as stupid and no longer alone
but i still sit and think on it
about just how low i know i can go

because now i know, because i ate
i am the knife that cuts the cake
because even now i am afraid
that the hunger will betray me again

that i won't win
Track Name: your house in the center of town
you hide in your house
in the center of town
and at the edge of your mouth
a smirk raises and routes the way we

talk to each other
the way you won’t talk to me
about the things that do bother
the subtle violence i see

there’s a way to be open
and there’s a way to be closed
and as a man you’re in the middle
but no one wants to expose the way you

hide in your house
in the center of town
and at the edge of your mouth
a snake comes slithering out at me

and the girls at the parties
they already know your name
the subtle violence you inflict
and all the lives you've inflamed

cause there’s a way to be open
and there’s a way to be closed
and as a man you’re in the middle
perfectly predisposed to

never care to listen
never care to ask
the women in your life are tired
working to keep you on track while you

hide in your house
in the center of town
and at the edge of your mouth
a smirk raises and routes the way you

talk to your mother
the way you won’t talk to me
about the things that do bother
the injustice i see

cause there’s a way to be open
and there’s a way to be closed
and as a boy you don’t do either
as a boy you’d never know

that all the girls at the parties
they already know your name
the subtle violence you inflict
all the lives you inflame

yet you never care to listen
never care to ask
the girls that are working
to keep your life on track while you

hide in your house
in the center of town
cause at the edge of your mouth
indifference raises and routes the way you are
Track Name: bag of beans
i hate when i'm mean
which is all the time
i am a bad person
sort of half the time

i don't like it
i hate myself

how do i be nice
always all the time
how do i do nothing
sort of half the time

i want to be a bag of beans
that's never mean
or says bad things or breathes
Track Name: alive
i tried to kill myself last night
except it wasn’t really much of a try
called the hotline, called my friends
cried on the kitchen floor again

but i’m alright

I woke up today stuck in a fog
didn’t know if I was fine or just in shock
blank screen blared all my frayed ends
with no one to comfort, nothing to defend

i’m sorta alright

six cups of coffee and i’m still stuck in space
don’t wanna stay here but can’t really get away
tonights a party half past ten
maybe i’ll find the floor again

drunk alright
but i’m alright
i’m sorta alright

as long as i am sort of alive
Track Name: girl tsunami
if everything you ever wanted once
came before you like a strong tsunami
a big ocean of blood

would you accept the waking force of want
or starstruck, run like wildlife to the hills
you don't need it, you can't take anymore

well I guess
that's what growing up is for
well I guess
you're the deer that walked out the door

while I rip down one million things
while I flood every town that I'm close to
with the wreckage I am gesturing
en mass I am calling out to you

but you are cozy on the hill
and as a tidal wave, I should know better
that even love can never hold me still
come sundown I always wonder why I bother

I need an ocean
to hold me